Fetlife Review: Is It Safe and Reliable?

Last Updated 2023-07-17

Pros & Cons

  • In my Fetlife review, I found the positive aspects to be that it's a unique online platform where you can fully express your kinks and connect with like-minded individuals without judgment.
  • One great thing about Fetlife is its strong sense of community, providing an opportunity to engage in discussions and seek advice from experienced members.
  • Unlike traditional dating apps, Fetlife embraces sexuality and unconventional desires openly and authentically, creating a space where people can truly explore their deepest fantasies.
  • - As an online dating expert, I gotta say that Fetlife review left me feeling a bit bummed about some of its negative aspects.
  • - One major bummer about Fetlife is the lack of a mobile app, making it less convenient for users who are always on-the-go and ready to mingle.
  • - Another downside of Fetlife is the limited search features, which can make finding compatible kinks or interests feel like you're rummaging through Grandma's attic for buried treasure.

How Does Fetlife Work?

Fetlife is a social networking platform that was created in 2008 by Canadian software developer John Baku. It was designed as a space for people interested in BDSM, fetishism, and kink to connect and explore their fantasies. Upon signing up, users create a Fetlife account where they can customize their own profile and interact with others on the platform.

Finding profiles of like-minded individuals on Fetlife is made easy through its search bar feature.

Users can search based on specific interests, locations, or even event attendance. The interface of the website allows for seamless navigation between different profiles and communities. With over 7 million users worldwide, Fetlife hosts a diverse range of members varying in age, gender identity, sexual orientation, and experience levels.

To enhance user engagement within the community, Fetlife offers various key features.

This includes creating personal blogs to share experiences or perspectives related to their interests. Users can join groups centered around particular fetishes or participate in discussions forums dedicated to education and exploration. Additionally, events organized within local communities are promoted on the site, providing an opportunity for individuals to connect offline as well.

How to Make Contact on Fetlife

Are you wondering how to connect with others on Fetlife? Whether you're a new user who has just completed the sign-up process or an existing member looking to expand your network, navigating through the various contact options available can enhance your experience. From messaging fellow users directly through their profiles to utilizing the search bar and exploring additional features of the site's interface, there are numerous ways to engage with like-minded individuals on Fetlife.

  • After creating a Fetlife account through the simple sign-up process, users can connect with others by sending friend requests or joining various online communities.
  • Upon completing their profile on Fetlife, users can add personal details and interests to help others find and connect with them more easily.
  • The search bar in Fetlife's user-friendly interface allows users to explore different profiles, events, groups, and discussion threads based on their preferences; featuring an array of options to engage with the community.

Users on Fetlife can connect with other members by utilizing a variety of options available to them. Once they have created a Fetlife account through the straightforward sign-up process, they can begin making connections in multiple ways. They can search for individuals or groups using the search bar, allowing them to find people who share similar interests or kinks.

Additionally, users can explore different profiles and send messages directly to those that catch their attention. The interface provides easy navigation, ensuring an effortless experience when it comes to connecting and exploring fetishes within the community.

Creating your own profile on Fetlife is essential for connecting with others who share your interests.

By providing detailed information about yourself and expressing your desires openly, you increase the chances of finding like-minded individuals. Using various features such as joining groups relevant to your preferences allows you access to discussions specifically catered towards your interests. Furthermore, updating status updates regularly enables others within the Fetlife network to stay engaged with you and potentially initiate contact based on shared desires or activities mentioned in these updates.

Registration Process

Thinking about joining Fetlife? In this section, we will guide you through the simple and straightforward sign-up process to create your personal account on Fetlife.

  • Go to the Fetlife website.
  • Click on the "Sign up" button to start the registration process.
  • Fill in the required information and create your personal account by providing a valid email address, choosing a username, and setting a password.

To create a profile on Fetlife, the next step after understanding its purpose and community guidelines is to go through the sign-up process. This involves providing basic personal information and creating an account that will serve as your online presence within the Fetlife platform.

To create a profile on Fetlife once registered, follow these steps:

  1. After completing the sign-up process and receiving your login credentials, visit the Fetlife homepage.
  2. Log in to your personal account by entering your username/email and password.
  3. Once logged in, click on your profile picture or username located at the top-right corner of the page.
  4. From the dropdown menu, select "Profile" to begin customizing your profile.
  5. On the profile page, you'll find various sections where you can add information about yourself and your interests.
  6. Begin by uploading a profile picture that represents you or your interests. Click on "Add a Picture" or "Change Picture" to upload an image from your device. 
  7. Next, fill in details such as your gender, role, sexual orientation, relationship status, and location. Simply click on the respective fields and enter the relevant information.
  8. Scroll down to add a short bio describing yourself or your interests. You can use the text box provided to write freely.
  9. Optionally, you can also include additional details like your birthday, languages spoken, height, weight, and ethnicity if desired.
  10. As you scroll further down, you'll find the "On FetLife I'm interested in" section. Tick the checkboxes that represent your interests, whether it's discussing kinks, making friends, attending events, etc.
  11. Continue scrolling to customize other aspects of your profile, such as privacy settings, preferred fetishes, limits, and more. Adjust them according to your preferences and comfort level.
  12. Save your changes by clicking the "Save" button located at the bottom of the profile page.
  13. Congratulations! Your Fetlife profile is now created, and you have personalized it to reflect your unique self and interests.

Note: Remember to review Fetlife's community guidelines, respect others' boundaries, and engage responsibly within the platform to foster a safe and inclusive environment for all users.

Interface & Design

The interface of Fetlife is straightforward and user-friendly. With its simple navigation bar at the top, users can easily access various sections of the website, such as their profile, messages, and groups. The clean design allows for easy reading and browsing without any distractions. The color scheme consists mainly of black and gray tones, creating a visually appealing aesthetic that suits the platform's theme.

In terms of design, Fetlife focuses on functionality rather than visual fluff. Users can customize their profiles with photos, descriptions, and even kink preferences for others to view. The layout is well-organized and intuitive, making it easy to find specific features or explore different communities within the site. Overall, the interface and design elements of Fetlife prioritize ease-of-use while maintaining an engaging online experience for its members.

What I Liked as a User

During my time using Fetlife, I discovered several positive aspects and liked a variety of features on the platform. Over the span of three months, I explored the website's extensive kink community and found myself particularly drawn to its robust discussion forums and user-friendly search options.

  • Community: Fetlife has a strong and diverse community of users who are passionate about kink and alternative lifestyles. I have found it to be a supportive space where I can connect with like-minded individuals and discuss topics that interest me. The sense of belonging to this community is one of the positive aspects that keeps me coming back to Fetlife.

  • Discussion Forums: One of my favorite features of Fetlife is the discussion forums. These forums cover a wide range of topics related to kink, relationships, and personal experiences. I appreciate being able to engage in these discussions and learn from others who share their knowledge and insights. It's a great platform for engaging in healthy conversations and expanding my understanding of various aspects of BDSM.

  • Event Listings: Fetlife provides an extensive event listing feature where users can find and join local and international community events. This feature has been incredibly helpful for me to discover BDSM-related workshops, parties, and social gatherings happening in my area. Attending these events has allowed me to meet people face-to-face, further enriching my connections within the community.

  • Privacy and Safety: Fetlife prioritizes privacy and safety, which is a significant advantage for its users. This platform allows me to control the visibility of my profile, giving me the flexibility to choose what information I want to share publicly and what to keep private. I also appreciate the ability to report any inappropriate behavior or content, ensuring a safer online environment for all members. Knowing that my personal boundaries and well-being are valued makes me feel more comfortable and at ease while using Fetlife.


Fetlife offers both free and paid membership features. With a free membership, users gain access to various functionalities such as creating a profile, joining discussion groups, and connecting with other members through web connections. However, premium membership on Fetlife unlocks additional features including the ability to upload video clips and receive priority support. One unique feature of Fetlife is its emphasis on community engagement through active participation in discussion groups on a vast range of topics related to alternative lifestyles and interests.

The platform provides a comprehensive set of features for individuals seeking like-minded connections in the realm of kinks and fetishes. The inclusion of video clips allows users to visually showcase their desires, while the extensive collection of discussion groups fosters interaction within the community. Whether you are new or experienced within this domain, Fetlife's offerings cater to diverse preferences and encourage exploration in a safe environment.

  • Free Membership Features: Fetlife offers a range of free features for its users, including the ability to create a profile, join discussion groups, and connect with other members.
  • Premium Membership: Users can upgrade to a premium membership for additional benefits such as advanced search options, access to private messaging, and priority customer support.
  • Video Clips: Fetlife allows the uploading and sharing of video clips, providing a platform for members to showcase their fetishes, kinks, and experiences.
  • Web Connections: Members can connect with like-minded individuals around the world through Fetlife's global community, building relationships, and exploring various interests together.
  • Discussion Groups: Fetlife hosts numerous discussion groups catering to different interests and fetishes. These groups enable members to engage in conversations, seek advice, and share their experiences within a supportive community.


The pricing for Fetlife's premium membership offers several benefits, allowing users to access exclusive content and connect with like-minded individuals. The prices charged are competitive compared to similar platforms in the market. However, it is important to note that Fetlife also offers a free membership option which provides limited features but still allows users to explore the community and interact with others. To subscribe to a premium membership on Fetlife, various payment methods such as credit/debit cards or online payment platforms are available.

Despite having a paid subscription option, Fetlife does provide some free membership features. While these may not offer all the privileges of a premium membership, they still allow users to engage in discussions, join groups, and explore certain aspects of the platform. However, without a paid subscription, users may find limitations in accessing certain advanced functionalities when compared to those who opt for a premium membership. Nonetheless, whether one chooses the free or paid route on Fetlife largely depends on their individual preferences and requirements.

Subscription Option Price Features
One-month subscription $5.00 Access to all features, including browsing profiles and joining groups
Three-months subscription $30.00 Same benefits as one-month subscription, with a discounted price
Six-months subscription $60.00 Further discount compared to shorter subscriptions, full site access
Lifetime subscription $240.00 A one-time payment for unlimited access to Fetlife

Free Services

  • Free membership allows users to create a profile, browse other profiles, join groups and posts in forums.
  • With free membership, users can send and receive messages, add friends, and view limited event information.
  • Users with free membership have access to basic search functionalities and can participate in local discussions.
  • Premium membership offers additional features such as unlimited messaging, enhanced search options, priority customer support, and visibility of who has viewed your profile.
  • Pricing for premium memberships vary based on duration and offer more extensive benefits than the free membership.

Paid Services

  • Pricing: Fetlife offers a variety of pricing options for its premium membership.
  • Service Membership: Joining FetLife allows users to access a range of services and features specific to the platform's community.
  • Premium Membership: By upgrading to a premium membership, users gain access to additional exclusive features and enhanced benefits.
  • Free Membership Features: The free membership includes basic features such as creating a profile, joining groups, posting on walls, viewing events, and sending/receiving friend requests.

Premium membership on Fetlife offers several advantages compared to its free counterpart. With a premium membership, users gain easier access to enhanced features and services that greatly enhance their overall experience on the platform. Through more reasonable pricing, the premium membership ensures a smoother navigation and unlocks additional tools for an improved Fetlife journey.

Profile Quality and User Base

  • Fetlife profiles stand out due to their emphasis on kink and alternative lifestyles, setting them apart from mainstream dating sites or apps.
  • The user base on Fetlife is highly specific, consisting of individuals who are interested in exploring various fetishes and BDSM practices.
  • With over a million members, Fetlife offers a broad range of diverse profiles catering to different desires and interests within the kink community.
  • Profile quality on Fetlife is often regarded as high, as users tend to be dedicated to expressing their unique identities and interests within the realm of alternative sexuality.

When browsing through the user profiles of other members on Fetlife, I found a wide range in terms of profile quality. Some users had put in considerable effort to showcase their interests and preferences effectively, with detailed descriptions and well-curated photos. On the other hand, some profiles lacked depth or seemed incomplete. Overall, it is noticeable that a significant portion of the user base takes pride in crafting informative and visually appealing profiles.

Fetlife boasts an impressive user base with millions of members worldwide. This vast community comprises individuals from various backgrounds who have diverse BDSM-related interests. It was fascinating to find people from different parts of the globe sharing their experiences and knowledge within this platform. With such a substantial number of users available for interaction and connection, there is plenty of opportunity to explore new perspectives and engage in meaningful conversations around kinks and fetishes.

After perusing multiple profiles on Fetlife, it became evident that certain elements stand out when aiming for one's profile to catch attention among millions of members. Factors such as providing comprehensive information about oneself while maintaining visual appeal play a crucial role in maximizing profile quality on this platform.

  • Use an eye-catching profile picture: A visually appealing photo will grab attention and make your profile stand out among the user base.
  • Craft a unique username: Your username should reflect your personality or interests, distinguishing you from the million members on Fetlife.
  • Write an engaging bio: A well-written and thoughtful bio showcases profile quality, making others curious to learn more about you.
  • Showcase your interests and kinks: Highlighting specific interests helps attract like-minded individuals within the diverse user base.
  • Participate in groups and discussions: Active involvement demonstrates engagement and enhances your exposure amidst the million members.
  • Leave meaningful comments: Constructive and insightful remarks in discussions can reveal your personality and establish credibility in the community.
  • Share original content: Contributing unique content like photos, stories, or articles demonstrates creativity, adding value to your profile.
  • Clearly state what you're seeking and your boundaries: Being upfront about your desires and limits ensures potential matches align with your expectations, setting your profile apart.
  • Foster connections by reaching out: Actively approaching others, whether through messages or fetishes, shows initiative and may lead to more interactions.
  • Regularly update your profile: Keep your profile fresh and relevant by updating it with new experiences, thoughts, or media, encouraging return visits.

Safety & Privacy

Safety and security are of utmost importance on Fetlife. The platform has a verification process for users, ensuring a safer environment. To combat bots and fake accounts, Fetlife actively takes steps to identify and remove them from the community. Additionally, its two-step verification option provides an extra layer of protection for user accounts. All uploaded photos go through manual review processes to maintain privacy standards set forth in their policy.

However, there is room for improvement in terms of safety and security on Fetlife. One area that could be addressed is enhancing the reporting system to make it easier for users to flag inappropriate content or behavior. Strengthening measures against harassment and implementing stronger privacy settings would further contribute to creating a secure platform that promotes healthy interactions among its members. Overall, while measures are in place, continuous efforts can help ensure a safe and private online experience on Fetlife.

Fake Profiles

Fetlife, a social networking platform for the kink and fetish community, is not immune to the presence of fake profiles and bots. However, it takes safety and privacy seriously by implementing measures to create a secure platform. While there may be occurrences of such accounts, members are encouraged to report any suspicious activity to maintain the integrity of the community. Fetlife continually works towards enhancing its security features to ensure users can enjoy a reliable and trustworthy experience on its platform.

  • Be vigilant about safety and privacy on Fetlife to avoid encountering fake profiles and bots.
  • Before engaging with someone's profile, carefully examine it for any suspicious signs such as incomplete information, generic photos, or overly self-promotional language.
  • Utilize the platform's built-in reporting system if you come across a suspected fake profile or encounter suspicious behavior, ensuring that Fetlife remains a secure platform for all users.


Users can access support on Fetlife through the support page provided on their website. Alternatively, they can reach out to Fetlife's support team via email for assistance with any issues or inquiries. While there is no direct phone number available for customer support, their response time is generally prompt and efficient. In addition to these options, users can also find answers to commonly asked questions by visiting the FAQ section on Fetlife's site.

Compared to other alternatives in the online community space, Fetlife offers a comprehensive and accessible support system for its users.

Fetlife offers multiple avenues for users to seek support when needed. They have a dedicated support page on their website where users can find helpful resources and guides. Additionally, contacting Fetlife's support team via email allows for personalized assistance with any concerns or problems that may arise.

Although there is no option to call directly for help, their response time remains commendable. Furthermore, their frequently asked questions page provides additional information that may address common queries without having to reach out for individualized assistance. In comparison with other options available online, Fetlife's robust support system proves effective and user-friendly in meeting its community members' needs.


Alright, folks, gather 'round! Today we're diving into the wild world of online dating once again. Now, let me tell you about this particular app called "Fetlife." If dating apps were a buffet, Fetlife would be that weird platter with exotic foods you've never heard of - and trust me when I say it's not worth wasting your precious time or hard-earned money on! So here's my overall impression: Fetlife is like walking into a room full of circus clowns armed with whoopee cushions and banana peels. It's definitely unique, but in a way that might make you wonder why anyone thought it was a good idea in the first place. Let me give you a quick summary. You see, Fetlife markets itself as an app for those with unconventional desires and interests. While some people may find their kinks and preferences intriguingly fascinating (no judgment here!), the user experience itself leaves much to be desired. Picture trying to navigate through a labyrinth without any breadcrumbs to guide you – frustrating, isn't it?

Now, before I dive deeper into my final thoughts on Fetlife, let's put things into perspective. Remember those old phone books? The ones that had more listings than all the Kardashians combined have Instagram followers? Well, if traditional dating apps are your typical slimmed-down smartphone version of finding love connections, then Fetlife is like picking up one of those thick phone books from 1998 – outdated AND overwhelming. You see, my friends, while variety can often bring spice to life (think jalapeños on pizza), in this case it just feels like someone dumped every possible fetish known to humanity onto our screens. It's quite boggling how something that claims to facilitate connections ends up making us feel lost in a sea of leather-clad strangers. But wait! There's more...or maybe less? Regardless of how open-minded or curious you are, the real verdict on Fetlife is that it's simply not worth your time and effort. The app lacks essential features to help you filter through the chaos, like advanced search options or even proper messaging tools.

It's as if they threw together a mishmash of interface design from two decades ago and called it a day – smooth move indeed. Sure, some may argue that this platform isn't geared towards traditional dating at all; it's more about finding like-minded individuals for discussions and exploration of shared interests (sometimes involving handcuffs and feathers). Fair enough! But wouldn't it be nice to have an easier way to find those valuable connections without feeling like you're attempting brain surgery with a plastic spork? In my final thoughts, dear readers, I implore you: save your time, your money, and your sanity. If taboo tickles your fancy or curiosity strikes again in the future (we've all got our moments!), check out dedicated communities or events where people can respectfully explore their passions with others who share similar inclinations. Trust me when I say there are better ways to fly your freak flag high without getting entangled in the mess that is Fetlife. Remember folks, love should be fun, exciting, and consensual – but trying desperately to navigate through pages upon pages of mismatched interests? That's a recipe for confusion topped with disappointment. Swipe left on Fetlife and set sail for happier shores!

Video: Fetlife review


1. Is Fetlife legit?

Fetlife is totally legit! It's a popular online community for people with alternative interests and it provides an awesome platform to connect, chat, and explore. If you have any questions or concerns, their FAQs section has all the information you need for clarification on common concerns.

2. How to use Fetlife without paying?

To use Fetlife without paying, you can still access the main functionalities of the site as a free member. However, keep in mind that some features might be limited until you upgrade. To get more information and answers to your questions about using Fetlife for free, check out their FAQ section or seek clarification from the community regarding any common concerns you may have.

3. Is Fetlife a scam?

No, Fetlife is definitely not a scam. It's an inclusive online community that caters to people with alternative interests and lifestyles. If you have any questions or concerns about how it works, they provide ample clarification and information in their FAQ section addressing common concerns.

4. How many users does Fetlife have?

Fetlife, the popular social networking platform for kinksters and BDSM enthusiasts, boasts an impressive user base. While precise numbers aren't readily available due to privacy concerns, you can find helpful information on their Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) section or reach out directly to their support team for clarification regarding user statistics and common concerns.

5. Is Fetlife any good?

Fetlife is great for finding like-minded individuals with similar interests in kinks and fetishes. It's an awesome platform where you can explore your desires, connect with others, and ask questions freely, with clarity from the abundance of information provided in their FAQ section to address common concerns. Whether you're a newbie or looking for some spicy excitement, Fetlife offers a supportive community ready to welcome you!

6. Is Fetlife working and can you find someone there?

Yeah, so Fetlife totally works if you're into the kinky side of things and looking for some like-minded peeps. It's all about connecting with others who share your interests, but keep in mind it's more of a community platform than a dating site, so be ready to explore and engage in discussions instead of expecting traditional swipe-right action. And hey, don't forget to check out their FAQs because they've got loads of information that can clarify any questions or concerns you might have!

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My name is Gil Melle, and living with a famous name is an adventure. Whenever I introduce myself, people ask, "The jazz musician?" I smile and say, "No, I'm a dating coach." In a bustling city, my office helps those seeking love. I also write for Hitwe, share tips on Brides By Mail, and run my website Gil Melle. Despite the confusion, I embrace my namesake and focus on helping people find the right rhythm in their love lives.

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